THE WAY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO!

Do some things bug you about your humanness? I'm going to pretend you said yes, so I won't feel so unusual, as usual. The following is my ratatouille of pet peeves; a mélange of human vegetables all stirred fried together in no particular order. The stuff we do that embarrasses me by being a human. I'm sure this won't make me particularly popular, but to quote a dead man, "I gotta be me."

Funerals are ghastly, morbid parades. just burn me. No memorial service. If I haven't lived a memorable life, then someone singing my praises for a few moments is not really going to create any lasting memory either. Further I find anyone singing anyone's praises very

embarrassing, particularly if they are mine, bordering on idolatry. I'd rather die (ha ha) than have my 'fifteen minutes of fame" be post mortem. I came, I conquered, I caved in. Remember what you will.

I think all dancing, save for a private audience before the Lord, is showing off and or sexual. By definition and virtue all that stems from ego is selfish. Only the spirit can produce what is holy and pure.

Tooting your own horn is obnoxious and is politely tolerated by others, so they in turn will be granted the same privilege. Example: Birthdays. Why do adults go around announcing their birthdays to one and all? That's easy. They were trained by over indulgent parents that they were to be honored. And when the glory was no longer provided by parents, they seek to get the crowd to pander to them.

The quasi apparent edge men were given concerning physical strength or spiritual leadership grows pitifully dim with the evidence that women out live men and that there are more of us in the army of God. Why are women superior? Simple, they are more Godly. They worship less frequently at their own totem poles. Men tend to think more of themselves than necessary. Women tend to think less of themselves than necessary. Haughty verses meek. The abased will he exalted and the exalted especially the self promoting will be abased. His idea, not mine. A truly great man is to be respected, for he has overcome the biggest obstacle of all:

himself! He "got over himself." Any one who pummels their own flesh and leads it about as a slave, rather than slaving for their own flesh has done a fine work.

Next thought: If you do not take that lump of coal which was birthed from your loins, and pressurize it through consistent love and law, till he or she is a sparkling brilliant gem for this world, then you are a bad parent. You failed at the most important commission God gave you. Bad seeds are more rare than bad farmers, who fail to plant in well tilled, highly nourished soil. who fail to fertilize, weed, and prune their produce. The seeds are rarely the problem, for all you blame shifting Adams!

On we go: People, people. No one cares to know the full legal name, title, or precise date of your anecdote. "My uncle's first cousin, Henry Price, was returning home one spring evening. No. make that morning, Come to think of it, it wasn't spring at all. It was early summer." Whewwww, just say," One day a man" And if the non-alzheimeiic spouse joins in, we really can get a volley going. It would be less painful if you just pulled my hair out one strand at a time! If you gotta tell a story, just tell the basics, and get to the point. Unless your name is Grimm and you are one of two brothers, you most likely can not make a twenty minute story about Uncle Fred's singing saw very interesting. Also, try not to bore humanity with endless stories about people they do not know. Ninety percent of the time it is dull news.

Another perverted punishment is to inflict dozens of "scene" shots of your trip to the desert or mountains. All these pictures look alike! Jesus said concerning a meal's menu, "One or two will do." Same goes for photos of strange places and stranger still relatives. Spare us, Spoil yourselves.

While we are on the subject of conversation. (See how easily a writer can do that!) Stop hogging, People, who are silent or too polite to interrupt your never ending barrage of words, have just as much of interest to contribute. They just have not had a chance, having been imprisoned by your tongue. Give others the floor, Mr. Monopoly. Draw them out. Stop making them draw from your eternal fountain. Their still waters may run deep, and be quite refreshing. To that let me add: STOP interrupting! It is as rude, disrespectful, and dishonoring as possible. You are literally and figuratively saying they (their words) do not count. You are in no subtle way saying you are a more important person then they. And why can't you incessant interrupting yakers figure this out on your own? Listen and consider others' words instead of planning your next oral retort, Growth might be birthed, erupt, take place!

When you are debating an issue and the other team or person makes a valid point, acknowledge it! It is gracious, smart, honest, humble. It doesn't necessarily mean they won. Actually if you allow them the dignity in being tight in some areas, they just might respect you enough to actually consider some of your points. Some building rather than tearing down might take place. If not, at least you've been magnanimous and not small.

And give, give, give compliments! It does not take away from your beauty to tell another person that they are awesome! Its one of those paradoxes that we learn too late. If a beautiful woman tells another woman she is looking good, that person will actually think the beautiful woman even more beautiful for acknowledging her value. Same goes for intellect, healthy bodies, philanthropic deeds, etc.... Up building others will have a secondary effect of the same on you! Help people up the ladder of life! Don't kick the rungs out from under them.